The Mistresses of the Cage ~ Alley and Jana entriesfriends calendar ~
Alley and Jana

@~>~  About Us  ~  Alley and Jana  ~<~@

...... November 24, 2002 * 11:02am ~ 
@~>~  mood  ~  calm  ~<~@

I purchased a journal yesterday. A real one, with lined pages. It was just an impulse that came over me, but then I realized that I -hate- hand writing. I wish I could keep a journal like that. It would be nice to have something to give to my granchildren one day and say, 'This was me when I was your age.'. Do you know what I mean? Oh well...
I feel... something indescribable. Did you ever feel like there was something on the edge of coming to mind, that wouldn't quite come... like you're repressing something, and it's about to come back to you, all of a sudden, but you can sense that whatever it is, it's coming? I don't know what is giving me this feeling.
I had a moment with Brian last night. We watched a movie last night called, 'Life as a House.'. It was my second time seeing it. It is an -excellent- movie that did not get enough attention when it was in theaters. Well, I decided that Brian might like it, so we should watch it. We did. When the credits started rolling, he broke down in tears. Literally, he was blubbering like a baby (Which is, as an after thought, a bit amusing, as he was telling one of the characters during the movie to stop crying like a baby. Men.). I... had a feeling that I knew why he was crying the way he was, but when I found out exactly what it was, I was surprised. The story is about someone with cancer. His mother has had breast cancer, and his whole family has a history with cancer, so I figured that the movie just really got to him personally. I crawled from my place on the floor over to him, and wrapped my arms around him, and he layed his head on my chest. I stroked his back, and rocked him back and forth, and told him that it was just a movie, and need not be a reflection of his own life. He then told me that it had just struck him that his parents might not be around for very long, espescially his mother, and he didn't feel like he'd given their relationship a good chance, and he didn't want his parents to die without being close to them the way that family should be. He was really, really crying over this.
All I could do was hold him. There's nothing you can really say to make that better. But it was a good moment, despite his pain, because it brought us closer together in a small way, because it turned out that all I had to do was hold him. All he needed was for me to hold him, and my love helped him through the tears.
Brian and I have had a rough few months, but love keeps leading us back to eachother. And loving eachother keeps helping us through everything.

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November 21, 2002 * 7:03pm ~ 
Alley, I miss you. I'm going to be around tomorrow morning, bright and early, just to talk to you. I hope you'll be around. I love you, I love you, I love you. Thank you for being the friend that I need so much in my life. You keep me sane.
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November 21, 2002 * 8:12am ~ 
@~>~  mood  ~  awake  ~<~@

Why do I let people walk all over me?

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November 21, 2002 * 12:25am ~ 
@~>~  mood  ~  lonely  ~<~@

I just finished eating a very juicy, very messy tangerine, and it was wonderful. Comfort fruit. And now I'm going to go lay down beneath two very thick blankets, be extremely warm, minus this numb feeling I currently feel in my toes, and... sigh myself to sleep. I still feel lousy, but the tangerine helped, and my bed will help even more.

I miss you, Alley. I miss the way you make me smile, even when I feel like I don't deserve one.

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November 21, 2002 * 12:01am ~ 
@~>~  mood  ~  crushed  ~<~@

I'm just never going to speak again, unless it is to you, Alley. I know that you'll love me, no matter what really stupid thing that I say, because you know that it is just temporary stupidity, and I will apologize a million times before I feel it is enough.

I love you. *clings* o.o

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November 20, 2002 * 11:30pm ~ 
@~>~  mood  ~  sad  ~<~@

Urgh... I feel sick to my stomach. I feel like an idiot. I suppose I should. But I know, atleast, that... I didn't mean any offense, but was innocent in my intent.
I offended someone tonight, and I wasn't trying to, but someone... I think read more into something than what I was trying to say, and was insulted. But I feel terribly guilty for it, because I should have payed more attention to the words I was typing, and how they could have been interpretted. I -can- be such a moron, Alley... *sighs*

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*smiles* November 18, 2002 * 10:28pm ~ 
@~>~  mood  ~  hopeful  ~<~@

Hi Alley. :) I decided that we needed a change, and I felt inspired. I hope that you like it... :) I want to try to use cage_mistresses more often, just to write about our friendship, and what you mean to me, so I thought I might as well make the place fit for such a thing. :)

*huuuuuuugs you* I love you muchly. :)

P.S. And aren't the frogs sooooo cute? :)

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I wish you were here. November 15, 2002 * 1:23am ~ 
@~>~  mood  ~  awake  ~<~@

Alley,

I love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much! And look what I did!
Take a loooook. I made an icon out of something special to me. :)


Look ----> hereCollapse )


Remember always that I love you, and I'm with you in heart. I miss you.

Love, Jana

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October 2, 2002 * 6:31pm ~ 
@~>~  mood  ~  artistic  ~<~@

Testing. Testing. One, two, three, testing!

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